Someone once asked if I was on drugs.

Someone once asked if I was on drugs.

Not because I was spacey or strung out.

It was because I got so much done.

At the time, I was offended, but now I see that it was a misguided compliment.

I could literally do it all!

I worked 2 jobs, had 2 kids, went to online school, cooked and cleaned, organized parties, signed up for all the extra activities with my kids, team-mom, homeroom mom.

You name it, I was the mom!

Then somewhere along the line, I slowed down.

It didn’t happen overnight.

I’d sit down while vacuuming to watch a TV show and not get back up til the end.

I’d sit at the kitchen island to fold clothes and throw them in a basket instead of quickly folding and putting them away.

I stopped signing up for things.

I could blame aches and pains, busy work schedules, or the changing needs of my family, but the fact is that I just slowed down.

That may sound like it isn’t a big deal. Expected even.

It’s ironic, but I did home care at one time, and I remember older patients complaining to me that they couldn’t do everything they used to do.
I would console them and tell them that it was okay. It was part of life.

Now it was my turn.

It felt like I was losing “me.”

What happened to the one who could do it all?

She now gets irrationally excited about her heated car seat with the built-in massager and has strong opinions about throw pillows.

Honestly, I didn’t come to accept it overnight, but I did learn that there is beauty in taking your time.

That young woman who ran around like a chicken with her head cut off could throw a party for 30 people, cook the food, decorate, and make the place spotless.

But she didn’t stop and enjoy the party.

She worked 2 jobs but rarely took the time to hold that patient’s hand and have a conversation about their amazing life.

Now I take the time. When I host a party, there might not be as much food, but it is cooked with love.

I may work only one job, but the people I serve get the attention they deserve.

Sure, sometimes I still wish I could do it all.

But others, I realize it is in taking your time and being present that you truly have it all.

I know I am not the only one who feels this way.

I would love to hear your stories.

Enjoy your slow moments!

XOXO
The Gnarly Crone